I have finally had enough guts to go against my bf and stop my meds because they prevent me from restricting.
I can't do it anymore, I feel like they rule my life and the weight is going to kill me.
I don't know what to do with myself, I eat, restrict, execise, drink and my mind keeps on changing and bouncing back and forth and back and forth, I cannot make any actual decisions outside of work.
I feel like I would rather not be here at all but I'm not suicidal, it's more like, I just want to run away.
Please if anyone knows, tell me what to do.