anamiachick5455 (anamiachick5455) wrote in thinspiring,
anamiachick5455
anamiachick5455
thinspiring

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Wondering.....

Ok. I have been lurking around in this community for quite awhile now, trying to get up the courage to post. 

</o:p>

I was wondering what you all think of people who are Ana but are ACTUALLY fat-not just by our standards.  I am going to be straight up here because if I don’t do it now I never will.  I have Ana and some mia tendencies but I am seriously overweight. When I was younger I turned to food which was not hard considering that my mom made large amounts of fattening food for the two of us and I was never taught what good food was. i quickly went from skinny to fat.  I gained like crazy until my junior year. That was the year that I broke my foot two times in a row and developed Ana. Before I broke my foot I was an exercise and sports lover. I was working out or playing/watching sports constantly and even though I did that I never lost more than a couple pounds. After my surgery I gained weight again from not being able to exercise. I started limiting what I ate and when I was told i could walk I was eating only dinner to please the fam if even that. When I could start working out lightly I had been restricting and doing some short fasts and I started working out hard for hours like I did before (which hurt!). In the 1-2 month period of this I lost about 30lbs. I then broke my foot again and kept restricting till my counselor told me I had to eat more or she would be calling home (again).  I then went into a sort of recovery where I yet again gained weight which is where I am now. EDIT: i added this cause it is a better description. ok maybe I should tell you a little bit about my eds and stuff. I started with ana right about when 2004 started cause I was discusted with all the weight I had gained from having been broken (when i finished with therapy and everything it was a year and a half long process and on the same spot in the same foot TWICE!! not good when you love to exercise like me!!)and I was in a time when I was inbetween foot injuries and I wanted to lose it all. I restricted a little and stopped sugar and pop consumption and I worked out so that I was working off every calorie I had had that day if not more. Then I broke my foot the second time and seeing as how I couldn't exercise I began not eating less junk (i found some i thought was good but wasnt) and not drinking anything except water (unless fasting--then I drink powerade-less cals- or gatorade-more cals but effective if powerade is unavailable) then I started restricting heavily (I would eat one SMALL meal a day just to please the family--they thought I was buying food for breakfast and lunch when I wasn't--lol). Then I got caught--sort of. I had eaten lunch at school and I felt so outta control and gross I went into the bathroom and started to purge but someone walked in so I acted like I just finished going to the bathroom. It scared me then cause I was still sort of new to it all and when I went in to see my counselor at school for our talk I just spilled. Well we had like an almost 3 class period long talk and then she implemented a food diary check every time i saw her (once a week) so for a month she monitored everything i ate and i had to eat more than i liked to please her or she'd call home. My stats are now:

Height: 5’11”

HW: 270

LW:? Don’t know

CW: 265ish

GW6: 130

GW7: 120 maybe lower

 

I am now trying to get back to good restriction, fasting, and long workouts and I am having some success.  Anyway I was wondering if I was still welcome to be in this community and if I would recieve support and everything considering my stats and all.  If not I would like to know--nicely please--so I can find another place if needed. Sorry for the long post.  Thanks for your time!

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